Gkicking

Here's the thing about gkicking -- it's not a universal "Fix It" button.

Everyone (and I mean everyone) who's ever been an officer for more than a few days has, at some point, wanted to just toss someone out on their ear. And most of us have had to swallow the impulse and sit on our feelings for the good of the guild.

In a family guild, it's more complicated to get rid of someone than in a raid guild (which is run like a business) or a social guild (which can run respectably on personal taste or less respectably on emotion). In a family guild, if you start getting rid of people who haven't done anything against guild rules, you'll have a rebellion on your hands.

In my opinion? Wait. Until someone breaks the rules, your hands are tied unless you want to upset everyone else, but the truly discontent will leave of their own accord if you give them time. Don't bend over backward for the people you want out. Don't ignore them or sabotage them, but also don't kill yourself trying to make them happy. At a certain point, their enjoyment of the game stops being your problem.

The point is higher in a family guild, but it's still there.

If they don't care about staying for the sake of other people, if they keep demanding their own way even if it's selfish or unwise, they will eventually leave. It's inevitable. And, in a family guild, where the guild is about being there for others, you want them to. There is no place in a family guild for selfishness.

Most of the time, disgruntled players who leave will learn that the rest of the World of Warcraft doesn't care about them. Most come back, humble-hat in hand. A few don't, and you shouldn't lose sleep over those.

The up side is that if someone leaves whom you really believed didn't care about your guild, or if you just plain don't like them, you have all the power you need to refuse them if they try to come back. They will have to justify themselves to you to get back in.

And they should. Anyone who leaves IVV, for example, has to explain to every officer's satisfaction why they want to come back. They have to work out personal differences with anyone in the guild they had issues with, and they have to more or less grovel to the administration to prove they won't do it again.

IVV makes sure that members want back for the right reasons, and not just because their new guild is mean.

The majority of members who gquit IVV and return have been welcomed back cheerfully enough, even when hurt feelings were involved in the gquit.

But that doesn't mean everyone who leaves is always welcome back, or that there aren't people who don't gquit who don't really belong in a family guild.

There will always be people who cause problems. Some eventually work out their differences, or learn that what they have in your guild can't be replaced by anyone else. Some never feel truly settled but stay anyway.

Some mature over time, some get more unhappy until they leave.

The truth is, every guild is imperfect, and every guild will have members ebbing and flowing. Satisfaction grows and wanes, officer stress spikes and levels, and while it is the ultimate in relaxation fantasies for officers to imagine gkicking all the problem cases, the wise move is to just let it be. Fix what you can. Don't rework the guild to make one person happy.

People will come and people will go. The truly loyal will hold on through the rough patches. Trust them. Reward the loyal instead of trying to placate (or punish) the people who cause your headaches.

Let the unhappy leave on their own.

It's the only real solution.

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Beth Blevins is a former officer in In Vino Veritas.
Beth is glad she's not an officer anymore.

Raid Leaders Are Not The Enemy

This is a companion post to "Taking Criticism."

Raid leaders are not trying to destroy your ranking on Bob's dps meter by giving you criticism or tips.

They're not trying to ruin your play style or step on your toes.

They're just trying to whip you into a shape where they'd be willing to roster you more often.

If the boss dies, it shouldn't matter who's top dps. It should matter whether or not the raid leaders, the ones creating the roster, think you did what they wanted.

Not because they're right all the time, or because you won't get rostered otherwise, but because ignoring them (or getting angry) without reason makes you a brat.

Yes. A brat.

So shut up, sit down, and if you don't like the criticism you're getting from your leaders, feel free to argue with stats and resources and explanations. But being a brat who rebels against nothing at all (or even good advice) is just plain dumb.

Don't be dumb.

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Beth Blevins is a former officer in In Vino Veritas.
Beth has been playing Warcraft for three years.

She hates the drama sometimes found in raiding.

Taking Criticism

I have this friend. Recently, she got insecure about her raid performance. I talked to her raid healers, as well as her raid leaders -- basically, four of the five people who comprise my immediate family group. People I trusted to know what they were talking about and to be honest about it.

They gave her a glowing review with a few minor pointers, but the comments that stuck with me were about how she didn't start out as a great raider-- she made a lot of mistakes when she first began, back at the start of Wrath -- but grew into it.

My sister-in-law summarized it best: "[S]he is open to constructive criticism and improving."

My friend has been rostered for almost every progression raid in Icecrown Citadel because she's improved so much, because she's willing to acknowledge her mistakes and learn from them. The raid leaders know that even if she screws up, she'll keep trying and listening to their suggestions until she gets it right. They aren't afraid to be honest with her, because they know she'll listen.

Because of that, she's extremely valued as a dps. More valued than people who don't know how to take criticism, who get angry or refuse to listen.

This is more than a lesson for raiding, it's a lesson for life: you need to know how to take criticism gracefully. If you don't, you'll never be as good as you want to be, and you'll never be sought-after.

Players who know how to adapt, they get pursued by raid leaders. Players who don't... don't.

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Beth Blevins is a former officer in In Vino Veritas.
Beth has been playing Warcraft for three years.